The epsilon program mission

The Kifflom Missions are a parody of exploitative cultist behavior, in particular, Scientology. They require Michael to engage in an increasingly-ridiculous series of quests while donating increasingly large sums of money to the cult. You can only complete these quests using Michael. Other characters cannot participate in Missions from the Epsilon Group. This quest line becomes available very early in the game, after unlocking Michael as a playable character.

So it's well worth the time investment. Head directly north from the TV toward the dry river nearby. Just before the terrain drops off into the stream, you'll find the battery by some bushes.

The final item is a boot. Head southeast from the battery to find this little picnic spot. Just past it is the boot you're looking for. Once the Epsilon logo appears, head there for the next mission.

This time, Marnie tasks you with wearing Epsilon robes for 10 days. It's not as annoying as it sounds. Yes, that's really how much they cost.

After a one-day cycle, they will appear in your wardrobe. Now, the 10 days might seem like a lot, but there's a trick to this task - sleeping. Simply sleep repeatedly with Michael, as this passes a lot of time very quickly.

Sleep repeatedly until the 10 days are up, and a new mission will unlock. This one is very straightforward. Head to the new Epsilon logo to meet Torn, who tasks you with flying a plane to an airfield. Hop in and fly to the destination to wrap this one up. Another Epsilon logo will soon appear on your map. Make sure you're wearing your Epsilon robes, and head there to meet up with the whole Epsilon crew once again.

They're ready to send you to meet their leader, but first you must run five miles through the desert. No seriously. You have two ways to complete this one: active and passive. For the active route, hold down that run button and have Michael run until you receive a notice that the five miles have been completed. Upon doing this, the final mission will be unlocked. If the latter is chosen, Cris Formage will berate and threaten Michael and Marnie will shun his actions.

No matter which option is chosen, Michael may still choose to assist in writing the Epsilon Tract , a collection side mission that is unlocked upon completion.

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